My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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