I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
