do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
