i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
