can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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