Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize