there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
