dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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