he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
