Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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