one word: firstdatebathroomanal
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
