plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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