Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize