he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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