I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
