My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
