She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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