pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
