im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
