Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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