In the future we'll all be gay
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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