I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
