What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
