ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
