thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
