Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
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i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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