Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
