O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
