I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
