Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
