im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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