hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
