i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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