I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize