i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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