That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
