Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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