The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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