I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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