dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
