Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
