i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
