i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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