the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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