They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
