There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
