I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
