That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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