just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
