Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
