do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
