end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
