Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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