you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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