Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
