Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
