The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
