I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
