What a fucking waste of an outfit
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
