he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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