The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
