You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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