Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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