I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
