it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
