Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize