I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
